There comes a point in your life you have to call a timeout and I did, I was feeling angry, stressed and bitchy, I needed a break to spend some time catching up with friends, of course playing poker and letting some of the tension in my shoulders relax enough so I don't look so hunched back.
Kelsey spent the weekend at Ball State attending a newspaper clinic they ran, Alex was out and about with friends all weekend, mom as always was attending to the house and getting in a few work hours to catch up before the week ahead hit.
Tryouts for soccer were this week and the girls were both nervous and excited knowing 3 days of hard practices and tryouts would be there. Each day, they got up at were at the school by 6:45am. God love them.
Tuesday was again a horribly stressful day at work with the fallout of the server, another large deadline looming, and 2 more right behind it, I threw up..my body reacting when I could no longer do so and wondering why ultimately I put myself through this. Wednesday slammed in with more, the air at work filled with tension and stress, ....the other thing it was the day to find out who was to make what team, Kelsey made Varsity, Alex Freshman....this was tough for Alex and me as well. Freshman is a developmental team, not bad, but truly she wanted to be along with many of her friends on JV, I know this was tough and it took everything I had to put away my own stresses and focus on her disappointment. As I had with Kelsey, I tried to encourage to talk her to the coaches and ask what does she need to work on to have the opportunity to be moved up to JV, unlike Kelsey, this is a little harder for Alex. Oh, dang, this is what motherhood is all about. Life has not been all roses and we need to all get back on balance - especially me, I feel like I am spiraling, trying to get things back in line and it ain't working - I am only one person.
Another long day facing a computer, my shoulders knotted to a solid mass from hours of continuous work without getting up and the news that Alex has eye infections. Her contacts aren't allowing enough oxygen to the eyes - as explained whites cells were developing and if left to continue without treatment she could get ulcers and possibly loose her vision, alright god, enough, come on now - its really time to stop. can I cry for a minute now, please?
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